Self love is vital to living a fully integrated life. I speak of integration in relation to the mind, body and spirit, operating harmoniously in unison for the benefits of the whole person.
“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
Buddha
What is self love
Self love is the ability to accept, love, respect, honour and value the beautiful individual person you are.
It is the ability to be gentle and compassionate with yourself in the face of all odds. It is the ability to make decisions that are right for you, trusting your Inner Pink Star and following her signs in your journey of life. It is having the skills to competently deal with the consequences of accidentally choosing wrongly and having to pick up your pieces and start again.
It is a strong, unwavering, sense of self trust and self belief, at all times and under all circumstances. It is the ability to stand proud and stand up for yourself, protecting yourself in a calm and mature way. In this place drama and chaos do not exist, as you choose not to allow them into your world.
Self love is about
- Acknowledging and expressing your feelings
- Pulling yourself out of destructive situations and removing unnecessary drama and chaos from your life
- Setting boundaries and being able to say no to toxic people, places and situations
- Sending clear messages that maintain your self respect
- Having the capacity to forgive yourself and others
- Stopping when you feel close to overwhelm or burnout and taking time for yourself
- Having laser sharp self awareness skills to understand who you are
- Having fun and laughter integrated into your life
- Not needing to please or impress others just yourself
- Focusing on mindfulness and gratitude
- Having gentleness and compassion and caring for yourself
- Protecting yourself, keeping your mind, body and spirit safe
- Putting yourself first
- Knowing your passions, finding your life purpose living it each day
- Having the ability to say “I LOVE ME..”
Self love values – I am…..
- Loveable
- Worthy
- Connected
- Belonging
- Good enough
- Significant
- Visible
- Powerful
- Capable
- In control
- Peaceful
- Relaxed
- Important
- Trusting
- Calm
- Confident
- Valued
Me
During two different points in my life my self love seriously deteriorated, I could feel from a place deep inside that I was giving myself away to please others, residing in a unhealthy space, lacking self-respect and I felt so removed from myself that I started to develop anxiety, self-loathing thoughts and low feelings.
One particular day I remember thinking that I wanted to get as far away from myself as possible, it was a deep entrenched feeling that is hard to explain, suffice to say I knew I didn’t like or know who I was. I could run and hide but sadly not from myself.
It was a slow onset in a poor relationship that created most of these feelings which finally I decided to leave. It did take some time to regain the self love internally, which started the day I left the relationship, I also had to learn new skills, forgive myself, put myself and my healing first and all this came with a high dose of patience something I have never been that great with.
It was a particularly dark and grey period in my life and when I look back a small piece of me fears ever going there again but the self love I have built up around myself can say directly to myself “ I will never go back to that space” I say it and I believe it. The work I have done I believe will protect me and my sensitive soul from feeling so destroyed ever again.
If you are in this space and are prepared to do the work, it is possible to build yourself and your self love up and then create strategies to protect it for the long haul. You, and all your loved ones will benefit from your new found self loving self.
21 Self love yes and no’s
Answer YES or NO to the the questions below to see how your self love scale rates.
- I know who I am
- I know what I want
- I respect and honour myself
- I care for myself and put my physical wellbeing first
- I stop and take a rest when I need to
- I remove myself from toxic situations or people
- I say no when I mean no
- I laugh every day
- I have forgiven myself for past mess-ups
- I have forgiven everyone I am angry at
- I express myself outwardly
- I have an awareness about who I am and what I need
- I trust everything will turn out okay
- I am able to put aside my to do list and relax
- I have an unwavering self belief
- I have confidence and high self esteem
- I trust me
- I like hanging out with me
- I accept my flaws and imperfections
- I am able to detach and observe my mind when it gets chaotic
- I love me.
Well done on your reflection and your courage to go deeper.
If you had lots of yes’s, take the time to celebrate how far you have come and what you have achieved on your journey so far.
On the other hand, if you rated had more no’s than you had hoped, don’t berate yourself. Remember that you are here on your journey learning new skills and tools to take into your life.
You may also like to read My inner wisdom does she always know best
You are not expected to know all these things at a certain point. Allow yourself to be in a learning phase and keep moving forward. Place trust in yourself and focus on the positive growth you have already achieved. Start using your self love skills by being nice to yourself.
Be your own best friend, love her and treat every part of her like a princess, and make sure everyone that you come in contact with does the same.
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With Pink love, thanks and respect Lara and the two cute puppos Suzy and Chelsea. xx
