Living alone is it really as scary as we all make it out to be, or is it worth embracing rather than avoiding?
Maybe life has given you an opportunity to live alone, be it good or bad from your perspective. It is what it is, and if this is your situation it’s worth finding out how best to live with only yourself and reap all the rewards.
You can learn to live alone and relish in the space and solitude. Rather than attempting to fill the gap in your life with distractions or diving headlong into another relationship or living arrangement, that you may not be ready for, give it a chance.
YES, you are able after cohabitating for a long period of time, able to adjust your life and fly solo yet again, embrace it, it is actually quite amazing once you master it.
The divorce truth
The Australian Institute of Family studies show the number of divorces have increased from 398 in 1901 to a staggering amount of 47,638 in 2013.
Wow are we getting it that wrong?
As we move into another year the divorce rates are sky rocketing and people are left picking up the pieces of their lives on their own. Does being on your own symbolise loneliness, or is that how nature intended it, at least for a short period of time to find your true self and regroup.
Love yourself first
We all know the old saying you must be able to love yourself before being able to love another. A very true statement.
People in our lives are there to add value to our lives they are not there as a crutch to help us feel good about ourselves.
Many people exit relationships and living arrangements only to find they don’t know how to be alone. They have not been able to master their solid self, before, during or after the relationship.
So, when the time comes to live alone and be with “you” it creates a massive amount of chaos, confusion and fear in our lives, which is often disguised by entering into another relationship potentially doomed to fail.
Let’s look at it from a different perspective you love yourself, you learn to be true to yourself, and you learn to live alone and respect and love yourself.
You do this all before entering into a new living arrangement. From there you take that solid self into your relationship and low and behold it may not only mean the relationship may last but that if it doesn’t, being alone again is just that, easy peasy.
Nothing scary, nothing to create panic over just the next chapter in your life, a time to learn from your past experiences and use them to move forward into new and exciting ventures.
Life is exciting we are born alone and we die alone so we may as well get used to being alone at certain times in our lives, so when Prince Romeo comes to sweep you off your feet you will be able to give to him from a deep sense of self awareness and inner contentment, knowing that if he turns out to be Kermit the Frog you can reassess and start over alone, loving it.
Having myself been in this situation after a break up in my younger years my worst fear was having to live alone.
Not wanting to live at my parents any longer after biting the bullet and just doing it, it became the most powerful, empowering experience for me.
Yes, I had to face up to a lot of internal negative core beliefs and work on myself which at the time was a little confronting.
Sometimes we forget we are the master of our own destiny, we are the author of our lives, we choose what we think, how we think and how we will live our lives.
Being alone WOW what an awesome time to be with the one we love or should love the most YOU…..Plus its fabulous fun, if you let it be.
So how do you master being alone..
1. Eliminate the negative thinking.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)
Core beliefs = automatic thoughts = emotion = behaviour = reaction
Without years of study or a passion for self awareness the majority of us do not realise that what we feel is stemmed from what we think. Our thoughts can be so embedded and are so automatic we do not catch them and before we know it we feel depressed, sad or anxious.
A CBT Therapist will help you identify your automatic thoughts and then delve deeper into what the core beliefs are behind these thoughts. Once these come into your peripheral awareness hey presto you can actually do the hard yards to change or even eliminate them. You are able to choose a new way of thinking which in turn creates a new way of feeling.
2. Build your self esteem and confidence
Work on yourself, spend time with yourself. What have you always wanted to do but never had a chance. Do it…
- Pamper yourself
- Take up a new hobby
- Go on a holiday
- Get a massage
- Basic self care – sleep, eating, exercise,
- Rewards for your accomplishments, strengths and achievements
- Forgive yourself when you don’t do all you had hoped
- Be gentle with yourself
- Say positive things to yourself
- Associate with positive like minded people
- Be your own best friend
- Work on reframing negative beliefs to positive beliefs, reframe
- Live in the moment, be present
- Practice assertiveness
- Clear your mind, create mindfulness
- Ask for what you want, say what you mean
- Smile, show an interest in others, appreciate others
- Set your boundaries and live within them
- Ensure you are treated with respect by others
- Work on your time management
- Appreciate nature
- Create awareness of yourself, others, your emotions, your feelings, your thoughts
- Actively listen to others
- Put yourself in others shoes
- Expect the best
- Breathe, breathe, breathe
- Be true to yourself
- Set yourself goals
- Create life balance
- Remove stressful situations from your life
- Trust your inner pink star (Inner wisdom)
- Write down what you are grateful for
- Practice being not doing
- Get organised
- Celebrate your strengths
- Be aware of your weaknesses and work on improvements
- Make decisions
- Improve your communication skills
- Remember that you are an individual
- Stop “SHOULDING” yourself replace with could
- Have fun
3. Find a Life Coach
A good Life Coach will let you find your own answers and is there to support, encourage and challenge you to move out of your comfort zone in a safe environment.
They will help you:
- Understand where you are at presently
- Move you towards your goals
- Remove any limiting beliefs
- Increase your confidence and self esteem
- Work with stress management
- Give you the tools to lead a more fulfilled life
- Create a sense of purpose and meaning
- Understand your values and create a vision statement
- Create more energy in your life
Living alone can be the most magical thing if you can embrace it, worship it and enjoy all the opportunities it presents for you.
Do it, try it…Trust me you won’t be disappointed once you master it, use your courage and walk straight through the face of fear to the miracles that lay just on the other side.
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t you’re right
DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE EBOOK: Click here, to download “13 Life Lessons to Healing”