As Katy Perry and Lady Gaga were bellowing out from the sound system last night, and between the hullabaloo, noise and dancing girls, I found space to reflect internally on my year of 2016.
My initial thoughts were telling me this was the worst year ever, my Dad had passed away. I kind of felt obligated to think and vent on this being the case, because of losing Dad. And, maybe it was?
I heard people all around me echoing my initial thoughts so I felt understood and connected. I scrolled through Facebook and comparable comments were posted good riddancing their 2016.
Many people seemed to be looking at the bad, wishing away their past, dumping their negatively in the stratosphere, sending negative vibrations and hoping a better future will miraculously appear when they woke up this morning.
Not every one of course but enough.
For me however, beneath my thoughts, there was a strange irksome feeling that I needed to explore. I didn’t feel my feelings were completely justified and authentic wallowing in the negative, something else was brewing. But, I didn’t quite know what myself was trying to tell me.
Between the BBQ dinner, the Gin and Tonics, the mosquitos and the Haighs chocolates it continued to bug me, I listened a little better and dug a little deeper and finally the epiphany arrived.
I found it!
It was a quiet feeling of good, a feeling that made me want to give respect to my entire 2016 and allow me to appreciate the fact that I still experienced good things this year despite losing the most favourite person in my world.
2016 housed the one thing that has been the biggest loss for me in my life to date and maybe ever to come, it has taken time and will take much more time to work though.
However, I have felt and continue to feel my intense emotions around this and each emotion and every tear I shed, connects me deeper to myself and by honouring myself it brings out and pours internally more profound love and joy into my world.
This year despite processing my grief and being stressed and overwhelmed with paperwork, the experience allowed me to discover additional delicious tip bits on who I am, what I want and how I want to live my life from here on in, starting today on the first day of 2017.
The things I realised
The very first thing I realised was this!
I don’t want to live my life at the end of every year focusing on the bad and saying good riddance, I want to look at the bad and the good, recognise this is part of the human experience, comprehend that this makes life so much richer and equally give the respect and reflection they deserve.
The second thing was!
I want to go and discover my internal and external world. I have an internal ache to travel and experience many places, beachside towns, Italy and more Italy (My dads heritage), Greece, New York, Kenya and the Giraffe Manor, The Elephant Nature Park in Thailand, more of Australia and many more interesting and rich destinations. I want, I need, to see, to feel and to give back.
It’s not all just about the travel though. I want to experience who I am in relation to these destinations and experiences. I want to enrich who I am, share with others and expand my world rather than shrink it and live in fear of trying different things.
A shout out! Thank you to Dad for allowing me to be who I am and from the experience of your passing, awaken me internally giving me the opportunity to want to discover more about myself and who I want to become for my future, Rather than choosing to wither and live for ever in the loss and the sadness, his legacy to me is to live fully the life he gave me.
So, the day after the 1 year anniversary of his death, I fly out on my first solo holiday ready to discover the world and more of myself on my own in a beckoning beachside town.
I hope to learn more about how to love myself more and enjoy travelling solo, empowering myself to branch out and one day travel the world.
The third thing was!
To stop living in achievement junkie heaven, reduce the to do lists and move to the slow lane where I always feel more connected, joyful and full of life.
The more I learn and the more I know I realise I am able to cope with less stress. This is a good thing because my system tells me in no uncertain terms very early when I am headed down the stress road.
This is a big learning for me as I have always loved living the achievement junkie, tick things of the list life.
Well things must change, I have changed!
My inner self has had enough and is now instead visualing and dreaming of a life with no stress, less things to do, less materialistic items, more yoga, more beach, massage, meditation, dog walks and more dog walks , deep connections, good relationships and general wellbeing.
My top 10 intentions in a nutshell for 2017
1. Allow all the good and the all bad to be part of my life experience
2. Feel ALL my emotions to their fullest, shed all the tears and allow the true love and joy hidden below to continue to surface
3. Discover more about my internal and external world using travel to enhance my life experiences
4. Create and fulfil my passion living my own individual life purpose
5. Be less achievement junkie and more slow and steady
6. Become anchored in my present, honour the past, be excited by the opportunities of the future but live in this moment
7. Love my body and fill it with a clean diet and healthy gentle exercise
8. See the connection between mind body and soul and allow it to thrive
9. Radiate positive loving vibrations.
10. Spend more time with all the 4 legged furry animals and advocate for their emotional and physical wellbeing.
It’s soooooo important to evaluate our lives
to live the fullest life possible.
now it’s your turn!
Questions for you on the first day of 2017 to help evaluate yours.
1. What were the best things that happened to you this year?
2. What were the worst things that happened this year?
3. What are the biggest things you learnt this year?
4. Do you feel richer today than this time last year?
5. Have you stopped to applaud what you have achieved?
6. Who is most important in your life?
7. Are you living in the past, the future or the present?
8. What do you want for this time next year.
9. What are you top 10 intentions for this year.
10. What changes do you intend to make to make them happen.
“It is a good reason to talk to yourself, to ask yourself what you have been doing, what you are doing and what you will do. Girls who can’t go off and talk to themselves stay girls and never become women. Women who can’t take stock turn to drink, take pills or worse, but I can take stock. I can send for the bill of life and add it up too. If I ever feel depressed I consider what I have done and what I have accomplished — starting from nothing and arriving now with so much happiness.” – Sophia Loren
Good luck.. BIG PINK Happy new year..
Feel the good and the bad, live in the moment. Live with Love – Truth – Purpose. In the Pink.
Big Pink love Lara and the two gorgeous fur children xx
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